layout: post title: Collection of Thoughts description: headline: categories: personal tags:
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Musing 1: Consumed by Regret
All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players.
Like a play, there are two types, tragedies and comedies - and I often view mine as a tragedy. It somehow falls back to the glass being half full or half empty analogy. Like a looking glass, a lens could be all that matters in shaping one’s opinion. I have been full of pessimism and often view the world with a set of negatively tinted lens. This has affected me and more often than not, often results in making worse decision.
Some decisions in life are those that we will live to regret. Yet, there is no way for this flow to reverse its direction and we would just have to accept and live with the decisions we made. There isn’t really much we can do once we have made the decision. It is often that we tend to reminisce on how things were and what we should have done instead, like History, a lesson that is often criticized for looking at things once past. It is not that looking back is bad, ideally, we look back to learn from past mistakes but there isn’t really a need to dwell too much on it. Any more would just be wallowing in depression.
There’s something we can do though. It is to maximise every opportunity that we have, to do the best that we can. Such that, we can proudly say that there’s nothing to regret at the end of it all. Live life to its fullest, by giving your all. There’s no point in half hearted efforts.
Despite the many bumps and the occasional pitfalls that we might encounter, life gives as much as it takes. At times, I wonder why life is so difficult, why there seems to be a constant ebb of life taking from us and why do we want to put ourselves through so many painful, tormentous episodes? It is hard to sometimes find value in life and I used to have the belief that living is akin to a suffering, a series of trials and tribulations perhaps. I alluded to life being a tragedy at the onset, yet I do have many beautiful and wonderful things that have happened in my life. It is just unfortunate that I tend to let the small unhappy things cloud over the good things and it has been a struggle for me to look at things positively.
The way out of it all? Just relax. We shouldn’t think too much and just accept life for the little pleasures it offers, and not brood too much. Life is a long journey and for all the ups and downs, the final destination for everyone is the same, so enjoy the journey while it lasts.
Musing 2: The Early Bird or Worm
It’s been awhile since I was out before the sun came out, and wasn’t exactly looking forward to it too. I don’t really have much options to blame other than myself for not getting my bus pass earlier but well, perhaps taking the early cycling trip this morning isn’t that bad a thing either.
That’s just how I am. At times, stingy to the extent that I would torture myself just to save a dollar?
It was a 10 min trip to Kembangan station, and the moment I turned out from my house, I could feel the cold wind coming headlong as I pedalled faster, I started to shiver on the bike. Yet, it was surprisingly quite refreshing! I felt rejuvenated and excited to cycle faster. I guess I am just very much a morning person and that little morning ride energised me and got me ready for the day. Mornings are the most productive time for me.
Therefore, I need to make full use of this morning time, and to dedicate my energy and attention span to the tasks that needs it the most. One article I read suggested that people should avoid checking emails during the morning, well, because, emails are varied, at times include work chatter, and all these are just distracting. Before you are aware of it, half the morning had passed and so too is the optimal window for productivity.
It was quite strange to see so many school kids getting ready for school, walking to the MRT or to school, a scene that disappears once the sun comes up. Wasn’t it just a few years ago that I was part of this very same school going crowd? Very soon, in a few months time, I will probably rejoin this crowd as I will have to get up like at 6, put on my uniform, and make my way to camp. Going backwards in time.
I’m indeed looking forward to the end of the semester.
Musing 3: My Decision to Join the Air Force
A trip down memory lane saw me going back 4 years ago, back when I was still a fresh recruit in the army, just having received my A level results, pondering on my next step in life. I was undecided what I want to be, and I took up the first job offer that sort of came my way.
I would like to think that it was not a reckless decision, but whether it was a well-informed one remains to be seen. Many factors weighed in on why I chose to be Air Engineering Officer. One reason was to truncate my National Service. I wondered then if an AEO career would mean evading from National Service responsibilities. Instead of two years of National Service, I figured I could substitute it with 5 years of ‘Regular’ work, get some work experience and money, while I figure out my next step in life. I would also be allowed to defer my current duties and go for studies immediately within the same year. This would give me a “two year” advantage over my peers.
Yet, looking at my friends job hunting now, I think I haven’t change all that much in this 4 years and still not sure what I want to do. I guess this dilly-dally over job issues is more to do with my possibly good grades and potential job offers out there, and yet, I am tied down with a SAF LSA scholarship and might be be pegged down based on the various scholarships rankings. A sign of jealousy perhaps? In a materialistic vein, it’s all about the money!
In a way, I can see this as a career, it isn’t exactly a bad job and it does offer certain levels of prospects and all in all, working with technology is still an interesting thing for me. Furthermore, it could be interesting if I can connect my level of interest and merge it with the aviation stuff. The drawback would be more of how other people view the job? A military job is often looked down upon and unlikely to raise the admirations of people, shucks :) That’s my ego speaking.
This has been also a year of rumours, as the AEOs discuss about how our job will be like, the initial phase of training, important gossipy bits such as the pay structure.
I love money. Who doesn’t? But when am I going to do with all that money down the road? I don’t know. Can it actually make me happy? I am not sure, in truth, probably not. It can make me have a comfortable life, but apart from that, does having more money directly make me happy? Perhaps it is time to review what I really want to do with my life.
As I trawl the Internet on what motivates people and advice on the important things to focus on, I came up with a smorgasbord of tips that I hope would benefit me.
- Spending Time with Family and Friends.
As I grow older, I spend lesser time with friends. Spending time with family is also problematic too as more often than not, we are consumed by work. As we grow older, responsibilities increase, work consumes us. But is that truly important? The ages of 20-50 are the prime time of our lives, when our minds and body are the most capable. Are we actually putting them to good use by slogging our lifes for someone else?
- Health
I hope to die in my sleep, and not having to fight sickness. There’s no escaping death, but I would like to imagine or at least hope that I can control the way I die. Yeah right. I have heard horror stories of people suffering from strokes and being bed-ridden for two to three years before they pass away. You may have friends, relatives, in similar situations. It is not uncommon, and I definitely don’t think it is enjoyable. Spending my remaining years staring at a ceiling as life passes me by - knowing that there’s not much waiting for me even if I were able to recover.
Health is important, so that we reduce the probability of this happening. And hopefully, we can have a say in how we decide to leave this world.
- Being Happy.
Don’t you think we are just too gloomy all the time? Coming from me, this must be the biggest oxymoron ever.
But hear me out. Being Happy is a about a positive state of mind. And laughter, associated with happines is linked to all sorts of positive things that make you healthier. Scientifically, a laugh releases oxytocin throughout the body which evokes happiness and calmness.
We don’t laugh because we’re happy – we’re happy because we laugh. William James
Honestly, money doesn’t make me happy. I can hire a comedian with it perhaps, but there’s tons of ways to make one laugh, on the cheap. And being happy starts with just being positive.
- Giving
This is something that I need to do more of. Help others, it need not be monetary aid but anything that can benefit or assist others. If anything, life is short and there are others around that are equally in need. We can and should always do more to help. At the same time, do not be selfish. Do not be evil. These two traits would only serve to take away the goodness that you or others have done.
- Your Legacy
A wise man once said that money doesn’t last after three generations. In fact, leaving too much money behind may not be a wise thing. Haven’t you heard of inflation? It destroys money. All the money today would not suffice for others to bat their eyelids in 20-30 years to come.
On the other hand, legacies last for thousands of years. What’s your legacy?
Musing 4: My Personality
Never a big fan of such tests, but well, its a really fast one. And surprisingly I think this test is quite accurate.
Colourgenics
“You feel as if you have missed out on a great deal that life had to offer and you go about trying to make up for past failures. Naturally at times you get depressed and you try to compensate for your ‘missed opportunities’ by living your life to the full. This is what, perhaps, may be described as ‘living with exaggerated intensity’. In this way you feel you can break the chains of the past and start again - and it could be that you are right.
You are lazy - you dream of a peaceful, calm, uncluttered and uncomplicated life. Your ideal would be to share a permanent base with some person or persons who would be able to demonstrate on-going love, peace and security.
You need a friend - a close friend - and you are willing to become emotionally involved with the right person, but you are very demanding and particular in your choice of partners. You are constantly looking for reassurance and it is perhaps because of this that you tend to be somewhat argumentative, but you try to hold back - careful to avoid open conflict - since this might reduce your prospects of realising your hopes of establishing a warm caring relationship.
Nobody seems to understand you at this moment for everything you suggest or do seems to be taken up the wrong way. All of this misunderstanding is leading to anxiety and stress. The situation naturally is not as you would like it to be - you feel that you are being treated most unfairly and that trust, affection and understanding are being withheld from you and that you are being treated with a demeaning lack of consideration. You consider yourself being denied the appreciation essential to your well being and self-esteem and that there is nothing you can do about it. You feel that whatever you try to do to change the situation, you are getting nowhere fast. You would really like to get away from it all but can’t find the energy or the strength of mind to make the necessary decision.
The tensions that you are trying to cope with are a result of conditions which are really beyond your control. As a consequence of this almost impossible situation and not being able to get your own way, you are subjected to frustration and almost ungovernable anger. You are trying to remedy the situation but the stress that you are experiencing is making the situation even worse. You feel so inadequate that you are not quite sure which way to turn. A good suggestion would to be to try to relieve the stress and anxiety by participating in some very active physical activity which will relieve your tension.”